I cannot tell a lie…
I’m in a deep, dark, depression. Surprised? Well, don’t be. It’s true. I guess it proves that I’m human and as much as running pulled me out of my first depression, it is slowly pulling me back into a new one.
Can I find the exact source of blame? I’m not quite certain. It could very well be the long Minnesota winter. The last race I ran was the Polar Dash on the first of the year. Races are always exciting and invigorating for me. Perhaps I need to sign up for another race?
Last year I trained hard for Grandma’s Marathon and a few old injuries popped up. One has stuck with me much of the year, and that is the sciatica. I battled it through the summer but since I wasn’t really training for anything, I tried not to let it bother me. And I also cut back on my running. Fast forward to September and the Boston Marathon draw. I did qualify. Should I go for it? What about the cost of the race? The travel? The anticipation? The training? To be honest, I still wasn’t near 100% and wasn’t certain exactly what was wrong with me yet. But, fearing that Grandma’s was a fluke, I felt like I just had to try for Boston.
Making it in was both a blessing and a curse. And believing that I truly AM a remarkable runner just to qualify at my age, made me continue to run despite the discomfort in my left leg. I believe I didn’t really want to know what was wrong with me now, because it might jeopardize my trip to Boston. And I already committed.
So, I got a masseuse. And she is golden! And I started stretching. And I started rolling out the piriformis muscle. And I started hanging in the inversion chair. All of which have helped, but not healed. I’m not getting any worse, but I don’t believe I’m getting any better.
And, I’ve gained weight. About 6 pounds since Grandma’s. That is a lot for little ol’ me. Either the sciatica is bothered more by the extra weight or it is causing the extra weight.
So, after spending way too much time guessing, I finally went to see my doctor. I love my doctor. I call him Dr. Redford. He is the best looking doctor I know. And he is just a peach. He is quite aware at how much I love to run. And he commiserates with me as a former runner himself. A few X-Rays, and the great news that I have an awesome looking spine with no compression issues tells him that a consult with the local spine and nerve center will have an answer and a few moves I can do to relieve the discomfort.
I trust him. And I hope he is right. My first appointment is tomorrow!
So is it the Minnesota winter? Is it the chronic discomfort? Is it the weight gain? Perhaps it is a combination of all three. And with Hal’s 12 week Boston Bound program starting this Monday, I’m hoping for a miracle. Although, I have already decided to run Boston regardless…it just may not be for a PR. Just for the thrill. And I can live with that!
I cannot tell a lie…
Have you ever been depressed? Has running helped you from falling into depression?